fuzzy

vancouver (reuters)

day 2 - vancouver blizzard 2005

chilled vancouver commuters faced their second day of winter hell today, as an additional ¼ centimetre of the peculiar white stuff fell, bringing the lower mainland to its knees. scientists suspect that the substance is some form of frozen water particles and experts are being flown in from manitoba. with temperatures dipping to almost zero, vancouverites were warned to double insulate their lattes before venturing out.

vancouver police recommended that people stay inside except for emergencies, such as running out of espresso or biscotti to see them through vancouver's most terrible storm to date. drivers were cautioned to put their convertible tops up, and several have been surprised to learn that their suv's actually have four wheel drive.

weary commuters faced soggy sushi, and the threat of frozen breast implants. dr. john blatherwick, of the coastal health authority reassured everyone that most breast implants were perfectly safe to 25 below .

"the government has to do something," snarled an angry shirley warburton, "i didn't pay $540,000 for my one bedroom condo so I could sit around and be treated like someone from toronto."

thanks to robbi for the article. perhaps a pair of $350 boots from fourth avenue, as seen above, will help to warm the popsicle toes of the typical vancouverite during these times of meteorological tribulation. guys- don't think that such haute couture is only for the gals; steve [(604)760-2252] tells me that one of his male cooworkers also sports a pair, albeit a slightly more tame version of the above bootie. and i guarantee that dog-lovers everywhere will soon be able to get their beloved's paws in a matching set. keep your eyes peeled.